Sharing a chair
Why it’s time to realise failure is your route to success.
I’m writing this for you, but ultimately it derives from an inability to harvest positives from the deep rooted doubts of my own potential.
You absolutely need to stop being so hard on yourself, yes you will fail, yes there will be attempts that you look back on and cringe at, but the only way to be able to look back on those cringeworthy efforts is to make effort in the first place.
I am a dreamer, I have idea upon idea, some of which I stack up on the ‘pipe dream’ pile and others I will have a good crack at. I dislike the use of the word dreamer as someone who ‘dilly dallies’ their way through life achieving very little. It is time to stop thinking of yourself this way. Dreamers don’t give up, dreamers make breakthroughs and dreamers achieve the unachievable.
We can have delusions of grandeur, but so what? What is better than believing you can do something? When something enables you to lose sight of what you want to be, you are losing sight of what you can be.
I never even considered that being a writer was something I would ever do, but it was something I dreamed of doing. Until the day I just decided to do it, and people thanked me for what I had written. My motive is enjoyment, I promised myself that I would do more of what makes me happy and I realised very quickly that happiness breeds happiness and the fears that held me back, like failure, don’t even bother me anymore. Fears are simply the cracks in the pavement, they shouldn’t stop us from making our way.
Last week I sent submissions to three major magazines, I’ve since had a rejection from one but was still encouraged to send more. The other two haven’t responded and I will probably look back on those submissions in a few years and shudder at my naivety and immaturity but I certainly won’t regret doing something.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will — Suzy Kassem
Perhaps our fear of failure comes from the shame of looking silly or having to take responsibility for that failure and say ‘OK I got it wrong this time, but that doesn’t mean I am wrong’. There comes a time when you have to be your own inspiration. Be accountable for your own failings. You can’t place blame every time something goes wrong, sometimes it’s just the way it goes and only you can put things back on track. You are also the only one responsible for making things happen.
The most freeing thing you can do is allow yourself to be vulnerable to failure because it will open you up to success. Write a list of all the things you’ve ever dreamed of doing, start ticking those things off and let satisfaction shadow doubt.